If you’ve ever seen The Princess Bride you’ll get that reference.  It’s actually a silly family joke in my husband’s family to stand in the driveway and wave to departing family members while saying that line.

While I originally thought I would just shut down my blog, after thinking some more, praying and talking to a few friends, I decided to not shut it down, but just take a break for awhile.  It may be a few months, it may be a few weeks, but I’ll be back. 

I thank you all so much for going on this journey with me over the past two months.  I have received so  many notes of encouragement and thanks for all that I’ve shared.  Many of you have left comments or private messages thanking me talking for about my grief.  Many said they understood better what others have gone or are going through, others thanked me for putting into words the pain they at one time had felt or are feeling now.  I’ve even had several complete strangers find my blog and thank me for sharing so honestly about my feelings and how God is bringing us through our trials.  So, for that I am deeply grateful.  I am thankful I was led to share and I am thankful God allowed it to be used in the lives of others.  Your encouragement of me has meant so much on those very difficult days.

But for now, I feel it is best to take a break.  I am going to enjoy all this time I have with my husband home.  That is one huge benefit of a layoff.  We are enjoying all the family time.  The girls love having their daddy home all the time.  And I love watching them play… their favorite game right now is any variation of “daddy chase the kids around the house.”  I am also going to take this time to grow and change and see what God has for me during these trials.

If you think of me during my time away, please bring our family before the Lord in prayer.  Of course, my husband does need employment, and we need to find suitable and affordable health insurance until he does.  We are trying to get on the state insurance and hoping it goes into effect very quickly.  Here’s why and another prayer request:  One of my tests came back positive.  It was the first round of blood tests I had to discover what had caused me to miscarry twice for no known cause.  The test showed a high amount of antinuclear antibody in my blood.  The best way to describe it is that my cells are attacking one another.  It causes all kinds of possible health issues… regardless of whether I can possibly get pregnant and carry a child to term again.  I will have an appointment with a specialist on Monday.  So, obviously, health insurance is a major concern for us.

But as I share these burdens, I do want to share some praises…

• My husband’s car which broke down the day he got laid off was able to repaired.  Josh was able to repair it himself for under $100.  We originally thought it was going to be in the thousands.  So far, it is holding up.  Also, we have no great need for a second car right now anyway, but it is good to have when we need it.
• We made a few calls and were able to lower our homeowners and car insurance by $800 a year!  We are very grateful that.
• God is giving us a very nice tax rebate check to help us through the unemployment time.

So have fun storming the castle and I’ll be back… some day.

I will be shutting down my blog as of Saturday, February 14.

For many reasons I believe this is the right thing for me to do at this time.

I will leave it up for a week so anyone interested can message me their e-mail information.  If you are on facebook, you can also message me your “real name” so we can be friends on there as well.

Thank you for your friendships.  I have met some wonderful Christian ladies through this.  Maybe in the future I will return.  I especially appreciate all of you who have been so kind and understanding through my grief.  I hope I can still keep in touch with many of you.

Cathi

It has been a rough week for me.  I think the reality of everything that has happened in the last nearly two months finally really hit me.  The miscarriage, the physical issues that have gone along with that, Josh losing his job, his car breaking down, etc…  It just feels like we keep getting kicked while we are down.

It seems everywhere I turn there’s a pregnant woman, a newborn, something to stab that pain of loss in my heart again. A friend had her baby boy this week. So many of my friends both here and all over are pregnant.  Status lines on Facebook read “six more weeks ’til baby comes”  or “we’re having a girl!”  It all makes me just want to crawl in a hole and not come out.  Tonight there will be a ladies game night for ladies of our church at the home of a pregnant woman.  There will be at least one other pregnant woman there and you know what happens when you get a few pregnant women together, all the talk will be of pregnancy and babies.  I can’t do that right now… not this week…

My husband saw that I was having a tough time and decided to give me some peace and quiet this morning.  He took the girls out.  I needed a friend, but no one was home when I called.  Then I thought, why aren’t I talking to God???

I picked up my devotional book about grieving the loss of a child and opened to the next chapter, this is what I found in the first paragraph:

“Have you ever ignored the truth about your loss because reality was too painful to face?  I have.  For a season after my baby’s death, coping with people and situtations involving babies was challenging for me.  I avoided certain activities, friends, restaurants, family and even church becauase I was afraid of how I would react.  Making excuses worked for awhile, but I realized I couldn’t run from every situation and would have to find a way to survive.”

Right after I read that I knew that God wanted me to read this on this day of all days.  The devotional continued and went on to say that those feelings were normal and gave scripture verses and helps to cope in certain situations.  I am thankful that God knows just what we need when we need it.  Oh, and He allowed my friend to call me back, too.

Please do keep us in your prayers, especially about Josh’s job.  He has been sending out applications and resumes, but so far, he hasn’t even received a call back.  We know it really hasn’t been that long, but it’s still hard to wait.  The job pool is huge right now with so many people out of work and battling for very few jobs.  Pray that we will have patience as we wait on the Lord.

The girls’ room before:

 


These were taken before Lorelei was born, so they’re a few years old and before we put the bunk beds in the room last summer.

After:

I bought these wall stickies from Target that are just adorable.  They came with an alphabet set, so I put their names on the dormers.  (Ignore the wall color difference, it’s not that way in real life.)

On this wall is a magnetic calendar and responsibility chart.  They’re both made by Melissa and Doug and are great.  The girls love earning their “circles” and remind us each night to fill it out.  It’s helped a lot with whining, sharing, making beds, setting the table and other tasks around the house.

I found these little pink and purple cloth organizer boxes for under their bed.  I had a hard time finding ones that would be short enough to fit under there.  In these are panties, socks, undershirts, pajamas and tights.  That way little hands can find all of these necessities by themselves.

My big girl sleeps up here now!

Princess Lorelei is dancing on her new rug in this picture.  For you New Englanders:  the pictures, underbed organizers and little toy box in this picture all came from The Christmas Tree Shop.  I paid $1.40 for each box, $4.99 for each picture and $12.50 for the toy box.   I’m still looking for the perfect curtains.

The aforementioned rug…  I wanted one with flowers and butterflies, they picked this one.  I gave in. $15 at Burlington Coat Factory.
 
The big pink butterfly is actually a sticky chalkboard.  It came with all the other wall stickies.  I’m debating whether allowing them to draw with chalk on the wall is a very good idea.

My cute little princesses.